The Little Things
Are we drops in a bucket
Poured into an endless sea
A black dot on a chalkboard
One more microscopic bead
Or are we distances crossed in time
Laced with anguish, but filled with success
Are we the ones that they say have excelled
But hasn't had one single loving caress
Sometimes dreams fade when we grow,
And realize the limitations we have placed
We see the dreams that once held a promise
With the slow passing of time, it’s something we face
Dreams…What a world to have a dream
Do we not walk in a world where the sun sets?
Oh the sky’s blue contrast to a fluffy white cloud
Its the little things that makes it the best!
Schizophrenic Poems, Short Stories, and Thoughts
What is reality?
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The little things
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I refuse!!!
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To accept certain facts
And eventually, move on
The world, in front or behind
Me now, that life never condones
Till death, from this life, and now I stand
Till forever more…forever now… I’m forever alone
Walking away from these bastards and hate
Once given…that they’ve always shown
Roses wilt in the eye of a storm,
They breath in life that love has lost;
Withered now, my soul to part this life
Like the soul of a flower left in the frost;
To oppose a thought that forever entombs
In the dying moment you forget the cost
To leave this world is a thought I’ve pondered
In the moments when my living reality gets tossed
If hell didn’t await…what then
The voices try and trick me, they always misconstrue
They make me feel like life can’t get any better
Like I’m only being molested or abused
You can twist my mind all you want
You can turn my hazel eyes a shade of blue
But I can say, I’m stronger than you thought,
Because I tell you now, I fefuse!!! -
To
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To dream a dream
And dream again
To see the end
And live free once more
To bleed one drop
A drop of an unridiculed truth
To reduce a complex thought
Into a bland misconception
To oppose reality
And truly exist
To live on true faith
And see what life could be
To dance in the rain
And know how happiness feels
To feel one true emotion
And feel life unfold within me
To yearn for another
And know true love exists
To teach a life lesson
And see existence again
To not die a lonely death
And extinguish a lifelong fear
To see Jesus
And -
Knows You By Name
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Father, are we too far gone?
I don’t know what to do
To make them see the lightFather, how do we make it through?
Sometimes I am lost, and you are
Always there; just out of my sightFather, when will I see Your face?
I can’t even dream, or begin to sketch;
I have no recollection of Your true mightFather, are You coming here soon?
Please forgive me for my past doubt
I accept Your word, while knowing it rightFather, do I make you proud?
I only wish to spread Your name,
And stand firm on God, and reach new heightsFather, I love You, truly!!!
You are always there in the dark
Shining in the blackest times when my heart is affrightThere will be no excuse when he comes to reclaim
The proof was there all along, while you thought it insane
Get down on your knees, and ask forgiveness I swear it’s not inane
The very Creator of the universe, He knows you by name -
Freedom Can Never Hide
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I awoke this morning
Seeing, the light, in disguise
I peered into an opening
And saw a life deep inside;
It was hidden away
Lost in a darkened room
There was no chance to see,
Or so I would assume
Wandering in the darkness
Sometimes, you get caught in
Living in a void of existence
Not knowing where to begin
Life sinks into the cracks
And begins to expand and grow
You lose touch with yourself
And you’re afraid for it to show
It takes an angel,
Sometimes in total disguise
To flip on the light switch
And free us from our own demise
Oppose if you will
Oh demons of the night
Behold, the internal wheels
Turning against you’re plight
God gave me strength
And the ones on my side
Freedom can try to run away
But let it try to hide
I will overcome
This demon of the night
With God on my side
Freedom can never hide -
Bleeding Still
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Tend to me,
Oh incessant laborers
Of the night;
For daylight screams violence,
Crazed as time, and as
Relentless as existence;
We bleed turmoil
Doused in our own sins!
Vouch for me,
Oh friends, tossed in thought,
For we seek acceptance,
For the terror of our own
Incessant means,
For we are still bleeding;
And still,
Anemic
Save me please
Oh blessed Father,
For life seems to confuse;
Lost in the shadows of life,
Because reality seems like
A matrix, fake and generated
Dissociated and emotionless
In the absence of being held -
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Arise and shine
Awake and listen
To the amber songs
As morning glistens
For God is in this moment
And an air is ever so listless
As shadows fade in an arrival
Of a red colored and warm existence
In the awakening moment
Of your caffeine’s morning resistance
Come to me in an expanse
To adorn the crown and king
As we inspire to lift on high
In glorious words as we sing
“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,”
Awesome feelings your power brings
Until one sweet day we’ll arise
To heaven, from a world we’re enduring
Of this, I KNOW, for a fact one day
I don’t need any worldly reassuring
God speaks, we need only to receive
This glorious Father, love you can’t conceive
You need only faith and love, ask and truly believe
If he’s dealing with you now angst can be relieved -
Affirming Pose
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Sing to me, oh night song
For your cries seem too distant still
We beg for your enigmatic crooning
The copulations of virtue trying to feel
Sing to me, oh night song
For your crisis isn’t a mistake
Falter from this pathway given
And see how much you can take
Sing to me, oh night song
Till the early morning sun
The tides of yesterday have gone
And we have yet to have all the fun
Nightingales singing enigmatic melodies
Unaware of the stains on our sleep
We dance to the tunes of their evening songs
Suffering the scars the rhythm keeps
Saints of tomorrow, we beg for…not promise
But only a song, yes sing to us a happy tune
Bring us the early summer eves and bonfires
The listless singing to guitars in mid June
And only than, dear saints will we consider
Your song, at a grand and bitter final close
Take your bow and throw your rose to the lady’s
And show off your brilliant and affirming pose -
Not Ending So Fast
Not Ending So Fast
Storm clouds…they rage in us all
Satiating hungers, with a burning desire
We have to cast our anguish, even deeper
Ending with a need to set the world on fire!!!
So much is the lust, to give in, to the want
To feed, like a hungry and incessant liar
We feed on the feeling…the only one
Will we ever be invited, to a place much higher???
I have analyzed reality to a sickening repulsion!!!
And have nothing for the incessant gnarling inside,
I ask and pray, I hope and say…”Lord, help me to see,”
But all I want to do…I want to run away from life and hide,
Yet, all I can do is push it even deeper, back, back, further back,
Just wandering along hopelessly and listlessly enjoying the ride
Watching the mundane and inane, satiate their own hungers
If I had to say, “I enjoy the complexities of this life…” I’d lie
If I had to name a starting point, I’d say, it just grew,
From one defining moment in my life…the one I cant forget
But at the same ignorant moment, I can’t begin to recall,
Just a feeling of turmoil, disgust, rage, hate, and utter regret
Yes, I do try my best, I pray to God, I ask for peace and forgiveness
But the incessant gnarling inside, It’s some feeling I just don’t get
I want to say so many angry things, not to Him, only to me
Although, I feel as though I have lost some kind of sick bet…
I am not even angry with yesterday, I am only angry with myself
I am not even angry with the one who did it, so many days past
Satan and this demon of an absence, are my only forgettable foes
And not knowing how long this dissociation and absent reality lasts
Please pray for me, for I am, for I am honestly trying to see past these clouds
My life is, honestly a blessing in disguise, I cherish every moment cast
I Pray, the dark clouds, too shall pass away and just listlessly fade
Into a day, that goes on and on, for and an eternity…not ending so fast
Schizophrenic Poems, Short Stories, and Thoughts 