Schizophrenic Poems, Short Stories, and Thoughts

What is reality?

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Category: Heartbreak

  • Bleeding Still

    by

    , , 
    Tend to me,
    Oh incessant laborers
    Of the night;
    For daylight screams violence,
    Crazed as time, and as
    Relentless as existence;
    We bleed turmoil
    Doused in our own sins!

    Vouch for me,
    Oh friends, tossed in thought, 
    For we seek acceptance,
    For the terror of our own 
    Incessant means,
    For we are still bleeding;
    And still,
    Anemic

    Save me please
    Oh blessed Father,
    For life seems to confuse;
    Lost in the shadows of life,
    Because reality seems like
    A matrix, fake and generated
    Dissociated and emotionless
    In the absence of being held

  • Inlay, The Lost Chasm

    by

    , , , , 
    The shadows portray an instance,
    Wandering in the chasms of Inlay, the lost
    A vast landscape, where torrents of virtue
    Burn in utter disgust, and lay in bitter agony

    Come, ye brethren, and feel the shame 
    Inlay, the lost chasm calls to the lame
    The lonely, come and call upon the ones
    The ones, their wretched smirks…but we smile

    We smile at their virtue, we smile…
    Push the rage away, we continually push!!!

    Is this the point, the one they talk about
    Where demons are disguised in discourse
    Do we get off, at the sight of the broken
    Do we get off, at the sight of the broken

    I call, to the One True God, am I alive
    Is this the calling of ye brethren too
    Do you have the same rage as I???
    Do you have the same absence as I???

    Push the rage away…
    Push…Push…Pushhh!!!
    CONTINUALLY PUSHHHHH!!!
    It never goes away…
    The incessant gnarling of teeth!!!

    Inlay, the lost chasm you call
    Tears of the fallen, have you fell
    We see none, and know no more
    Lost in the void of a soul…

    The void…
    Is this the void, once again???

  • Tell Me About Happiness prt 1

    by

    , , 
    Tell me about happiness
    Because I feel as if it is fake
    Tell me about reality
    Because it's more than I can take

    Happiness, it sings to a new day
    Eminence avast, a listless display
    A thought…what if it was an equation, misplaced
    A projection, programed and ingenuiously interlaced

    They tell me to not overthink it, 
    To just accept reality and continue on
    But my mind is just, an evaluative conduit
    And my reality just can't try to condone

    I try to be positive and try to carry the weight  
    I smile and put on a mask, so others can't see my real face
    You wanted a happy poem, to me, it doesn't exist
    So instead I'll tell you how my reality consists

  • Presence

    by

    , , , , 
    He stands, with a looming presence,
    he awaits what will eventually come;
    sorrow, a contrast to his wretched reality
    wanting to overthrow what's come undone

    The one inside, metaphorical presence
    sinister one, I musn’t even try to obey;
    you are a, hellish twist to existence, 
    with angry words, you listlessly betray

    The absence, a void of a presence
    Oh God, hear my mortally painful cries
    the one who stands, he must oppose,
    til death, oh how he continually tries

    To the one, relinquishing presence
    you shall, never win, but exclusively fail
    our arbitration shall be a grand escape
    from the monotony of this inner hell

  • It Matters?

    by

    , 
    Sometimes I get lost
    In the things I should say
    It doesn't matter
    I have trust issues anyway

    Tell me a lie
    So I can turn away
    It doesn't matter 
    I'll make it up anyway

    Tell me you love me
    Because my feelings are gone
    It doesn't matter
    It’s something I can’t say

    I've accepted the fact
    I will die alone
    Does it matter
    You wouldn’t even try

    The withering loneliness
    Tearing me apart
    It matters
    I just don’t know why

    It matters! 
    It matters?
    Does it matter?

  • Make Believe

    by

    ,
    Photo Named: Amber and Blue

    Make Believe

    Dance with me
    In the vague absences
    Of a dream, withering my
    Deepest insecurities

    Dream on, and make
    Believe, the temptations
    Of the exiled, we think
    Until madness bleeds

    Turmoil exists, but will
    Relieve to live on and exist with
    And listlessly conceive
    A way to insist on a subtle reprieve

    In time we will dance
    The one in my dreams
    Be it in time and faith
    Or complete make believe

  • Eternal Vow

    by

    , , 
    Broken, we lay, immense in love’s discourse
    Listless in time, turmoil avast, lost in remorse
    Our demise, was but a fault, truly of my own
    My reasoning, honestly, to me is unknown

    A derealized mind twisted, reality in dismay
    Memories of a tragic past entrancingly replayed
    Fade from me, oh time, that was within grasp
    You return, and I can’t stand this arduous task

    Lust and sin, did play a part, to our eternal fall
    We were lost, in the shadow of the devils shawl
    My contempt, was just the lack of our devotion 
    Getting lost, a belittling reality, and lost emotion 

    One day, love will rear, it’s enigmatic head
    Just one day before I end up alone and dead
    God, grant me peace, at least just for now, 
    Or send me a reason, to make an eternal vow

  • On Repeat

    by

    , , 
    You live in my broken heart,
    And you emit my everlasting soul,
    Though distances between us grow apart,
    We shall find a new direction to go,

    We are misplacing time,
    The feelings that we have sought,
    My intentions are strictly benign
    Though they are withering my thoughts

    You are the Angel of my internal discourse 
    The evil wretch, invading my concentration 
    Leaving me empty inside without remorse
    Invading my mind in contemplation 

    Fade from me, oh Angel in disguise
    I shall follow you til we forever depart,
    And fallen cold, in a fatal inner demise
    Living here, somewhat alive, without a heart

    Wandering alone, I fall, without a care
    Miles grow, now between us, as we recall
    Our time together, so short, love impared
    As we learn our lessons, and await the fall

    The fall, when it came, we couldn't escape
    Now, lying broken at the bottom, we lie
    Mostly to ourselves, as my mind replays
    A loop of your smile, on repeat, til I die
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